Peter Cobley

Ducky on a Sunday

If it looks like a duck, swims like a duck, and quacks like a duck, then it probably is a duck. And yep, it looks like a dreary Sunday at the tail end of April in Dukinfield, Tameside.

I had a lie in as was tired, and am still tired, and am also nursing a war wound from a bike incident on Friday. Claire is out and about on Mull making a recce of the June 2nd Mull Sportive route.

So one of us is in Ducky Dukinfield, the other Tobermory, Isle of Mull.

Note the subtle difference between the two photographs. You’ll see that I win hands down in Tameside (with eyes closed, fingers in ears, and a lot of imagination.)

I do though want to get out an not be trapped indoors, but I must listen to myself and I am tired. I think I will put some Insight Timer meditative music on and take 40 winks.

('Forty Winks' is an English expression meaning a short nap or snooze. It is a gentle indulgence, something rather spoiling, and if you haven't tried it before, something we would highly recommend. The phrase can be traced back to Dr Kitchiner's 1821 self-help guide, 'The Art of Invigorating and Prolonging Life'.)

Speaking of taking an invigorating and prolonged life I do intend getting out on the bike for a canal ride, or at the very least cycling later on to Christ Church in Ashton for a meeting. I shall see how it all pans out. Nowadays I am very much in the moment person. If it happens great, if it does not then great.

For me a gentle spiritual life appeals. And being happy, not to mention not serving others needs or expectations. It is about being peaceful with what happens outside and inside, and by inside I mean my thoughts. A time to rest physically and mentally. And it has ben a busy week.

Jealous, but not really....

I am jealous, but not really. In fact excited. So what’s this all about a cow (coo in Scotland.)

A coo.

The Wifey, She who must be Obeyed, The Boss, Teach, Run for the Hills, Mrs Cobley, Mrs C, Yeah Baby, and a variety of other names went out for a walk last night after school. Above Tobermory is a track into the countryside where there is a radio mast. She drove up there, parked, and walked, and what photos she sent, what photos.

I was jealous because I was not there with Claire, who I miss a lot, whilst bathed in miserable weather in Dukinfield, and suffering from this infernal cold and cough. But after a great sleep having taken a Lemsip I feel more sprightly this morning and have not hacked a cough out and fingers crossed. So jealously pivoted to excitement at knowing that my new home is not that far away.

This last photo really sums up living on Mull and Claire must have been very near Ardmore Bay to the north of Tobermory looking across the sea to Ardnamurchan Peninsular on the mainland. Just stunning, with plenty of hills (Munros) to explore.

Today is a mixed one with two hours volunteering over lunchtime with OCD Action as I help facilitate a general OCD support group. Then after that I’m working on myself with some CBT for my own OCD via Silvercloud, and will soon also receive some one to one sessions via Oldham Talking Therapies, for which I am grateful. And I am certainly grateful for the NHS and always have been for what it does and continues to do. So it is with sadness that I see it creak and groan to the extent that it does with such damage riven through it by the failed private policies of the Conservatives. I am not saying Labour will have the solutions, but we can only hope.

And I will be one of the lucky ones who has been able to pay for private health needs, has received work medical insurance, and benefited from NHS services. And will receive just as much and more in a more sparsely populated area and probably better funded service in Argyll and Bute.

Me, myself, and my cold - Thursday 14th March 2024

Morning all, coughing and spluttering away with the Mother of a cold that has had a death grip on me since Monday.. Just gone 5am in the morning in Tameside and cannot sleep, so on the laptop. One of the guys I share with, Damon, is up as well so there is man/male conversation.

I am now at the Doctor’s in Mossley for a check up or as Michael put it a MOT - he’s a friend I bumped into travelling here. Quiet, not me mind you as I’ve just sat down and started coughing again.

Today I have a call with Mike Pegg (http://linkedin.com/in/mikepegg1) who I’ve not spoken to in a while, followed by Adrian Lomas (http://linkedin.com/in/adrianlomas). Again not spoken to him in a while. Two old contacts. The former a Guru as to people and building businesses, the later a die hard never give up businessman. Be nice to chat after what has been a while. I will though seek to have a nap between the Doc’s and the calls, but am loathe to do so as it can bugger up the sleep routine which is all over the show at the moment.

It’s not long until Claire’s Easter holidays from Tobermory High School, and can’t wait to see her. She heads down for April and then two weeks on the Isle of Mull.

The view from the rented house in Tobermory over the bay is stunning and having seen the house know it also has a large garden to enjoy for when the weather improves.

It is a little strange being in Mossley now that we’ve sold the house and no longer live here. I have attachments to the place, will have, but also now have closure, and feel it is time to move on. Some friendships will follow, some won’t and that is the nature of life.

But a great adventure awaits.

I’ve sadly had to put my restart to exercise on hold due to this cold but it does allow me to get other stuff done, and I have a variety of things to complete. This includes catching up with people I’ve not seen in a while, and easing myself into work after time off.

I may not feel it at the moment but I’m excited about the prospect of sea swimming with Claire on Mull. Mild climate even at this time of the year as the Inner Hebrides are touched by the Gulf Stream.

But I am not fully up in Mull until July/August as I have stuff to wrap up here in Tameside and my home town of Macclesfield.

It will be nice to have visitors to Mull, and Claire has already had some in the form of Paul and Lisa Hudson this week. Though I feel for Paul and Lisa as they’ve relied on buses with no car on the island and everywhere’s closed! That said they caught up last night and had fun.

Lego at 52 years of age, and I am not ashamed.

So it is with delight I write this post about Lego whilst watching Rio Lobo on the TV in a nice warm house whilst the cold and the wind swirls outside in Dukinfield. (And I think I may have caught a cold.)

I’ve been busy with making the lounge of my temporary accommodation Cobley friendly, and I think I have succeeded to a great extent, with room for improvement. Ho hum. I find Lego building has delighted and soothed me, and my housemates I honestly believe have felt the same.

I am enjoying my time in Dukinfield with ANEW and focusing on my recovery with over 7 months under my belt presently. But I keep it a day at a time and such a simple approach and listening to what I am told has and does make a difference; only took me over 12 years to the despair of myself and others.

Monday sees me work and study to a Level 2 qualification for counselling, and something I wish to follow, whilst running my beloved business found us. I finish the study first week of April and want to get myself onto Level 3 for the September intake, and suspect it will be with learndirect.

The challenge being for Level 3, hence learndirect, being that I will be in Mull by July/August. Claire and I had always wanted to live in Scotland, in the Highlands, not too remote mind you. So she decided to go for and get a role as Biology Teacher at Tobermory High School. Sheesh. There is remote Scotland, and there is a Hebridean island… She started teaching January and is living in rented accommodation with our ultimately buying a property.

I’ve been to Mull and must admit I am looking forward to it despite trepidation as it is a wonderful place and lifestyle in which to live and embrace.

Oh and the Lego is coming with me.

Books to read on a dark and cold January 2024

If you are looking to hibernate this morning under the duvet, why not consider a list of books I put together on my found us business website. I view it as a sister site to be honest and it’s not really a formal or boring business website. Anyway have a gander at some very interesting books.

The first of the nine book, and a good read.

Why do I read? Because I enjoy it. Because I learn. Because I can choose what I read. Is that not beautiful?

The books I list really helped me with goals and planning and addiction to technology, which had become a big problem. They also helped me to examine myself and question my motives behind my usage of social media and letting people know what I was up to. Ever had that moment an hour later after a social media maelstrom where you wonder what you are doing and where has an hour of your life gone?

There is a lot of self discovery in reading these books.

Some books I’ve read, I wish to share.

Back from a day at grown up school

I am back from grown up school on my counselling and peer mentoring course, delivered by the wonderful Wes and Karen of Acorn. And what was it like? I was certainly wondering what to expect, but not in the realms of Calvin… With learning I am open minded.

Firstly the venue for the course was not blown up, nor did it spontaneously combust. Nor was I looking for that to happen. In fact I was fortunate enough to enjoy excellent teaching to a group of 10 people including myself.

Wes has taught me before and I like his approachable style, and he certainly delivered as he presented the material today in an interactive, engaging, and educational manner. I learnt a lot from it, bearing in mind I am an old dog at 52 years old. And apart from one other was with a bunch of sharp youngsters.

Karen, whilst not delivering the presentation, worked well with Wes and played a crucial part in today’s training.

I learnt about UPR (unconditional positive regard), Motivational Interviewing, and of creating a paradigm shift in a recipient. Modern people centric approach versus old school. Really, really interesting, and more to follow.

It was a nice change for what can be one’s pre-ordained view of professional training that has been formed from past years. And see below for what I mean through the eyes of Calvin! Thanks Wes for not fulfilling old and tired views of tuition!

A rather enthusiastic Peter is off for training today.

I am off with a packed lunch, like a newly polished school boy.

So what am I learning?

I am off on a combined learning course that lasts 12 weeks and finishes in April. Looking forward to it as it provides me with a Counselling qualification (Levels 2/3) plus peer mentoring, and kindly funded by Tameside Metropolitan BC. Back on personal learning again after what has been quite a while and I’m being trained and studying instead of the other way round.

The qualification is to me both personal growth and practical. I can use what I will learn when volunteering at CGL and OCD Action, the two charities I help. And my mentoring at Lancaster University Management School. And lastly in my people led business found us.

I shall keep you posted after today’s session! It is provided by Calico.

Castlefield Gallery - a late appearance for myself

Resonance and Remnants (2023) - Omid Asadi

I am a bit remiss in having passed this gem of a gallery that has been sat adjacent to Deansgate train station for 40 years. Thankfully I visited the gallery with friends for a private viewing and brainstorming session, Monday 11th December 2023. What a wonderful thing it is!

Omid Asadi’s work did make me think indeed. In Iran dandelion seeds landing on you are viewed as signifying a message that is yet to come, so a dream in one sense. If you look closely enough, or view the exhibition you’ll see that the floor is blanketed by dandelion seeds, thousands of them all signifying dreams, a floor of dreams yet to come or already in existence. Surrounding and puncturing the dreams are memories; an old wall, a telephone, a paraffin heater in this case, surrounded by the words of an Iranian poet killed by the regime emanating from an old Sharp cassette player.

These are Asadi’s dreams and memories from his past. All in juxtaposition. And I found resonance with this. I dream, we all dream, and we all have memories which are dreams. Dreams of the past. And it is a stimulating thing to think of myself dreaming of the past, of maybes and things yet to come and that may never come, whilst living in the here and now.

The exhibition made me think of a much simpler youth, of my past, especially the old style telephone, as did the surrounding and derelict building. And I dream all the time of the past and maybes which the dandelions signify. So for me it was both poignant and reminded me that I whilst I live and connect in the present, which is the concrete, dreams are am ever present part of my present. So the term, one day at a time, or one moment at a time is a much wider and unconstrained concept.

The sister exhibit contains storage boxes both old and new collected from various sources all stacked and ready to be opened. I myself think this a statement of people’s unopened dreams stacked away for use, sometimes never opened.

About Castlefield Gallery

“We are a contemporary art gallery and artist development organisation. Established in 1984, we’ve led the way in artist development for almost 40 years. We provide creative and career development, exhibition opportunities and commissions for artists and independents. We work from our galleries in Manchester, off-site, online and in the public realm. We create long-lasting impacts in our city region, North West and beyond. Our national and international activities focus on artist exchange. Castlefield Gallery’s public and participation programmes provoke new ways of thinking, bringing together artists, creatives, communities and audiences to explore the art and issues of our time. We believe when artists and communities come together they can help shape a better world.”

https://www.castlefieldgallery.co.uk/about/


Remember, today is the tomorrow you worried about yesterday - Dale Carnegie

I thought I’d write a blog post revolving around “How to Stop Worrying and Start Living” written by Dale Carnegie.

I have known about Dale Carnegie and his writings for many years. He, I suppose, was the first self help Guru drawing on his experiences, and I would strongly suggest listening or reading the book I focus on. This is a man who met the likes of Laurence of Arabia across to Rockefeller.

He died in 1955 but I honestly think that this book is a vital read for learning not to worry and living in the moment. His life spanned the turn of the century, the rise of capitalism, and the rise of great men who have somewhat disappeared from popular vernacular.

What is important…

That Carnegie spoke from experience and tried and tested methods in a time where there was no Social Media or as I coin it, the “Cult of the Personality.” This book I feel is a vital read for any person who works in a demanding career or for that matter is ambitious, or wants to succeed in an ethical manner, but also enjoy the simple things like a family life. The book is not full of the trite shite that we now see with a lot of “self help” specialists or posted on Social Media. That in my opinion are too easily believed and not backed up by lived experience. So get a copy and read.

Remember, today is the tomorrow you worried about yesterday

I have been listening to the Audible version of his book and this quote from the book really stuck in my mind. I suspect a number of people have read of the contemporary Eckart Tolle and his “The Power of Now” and will understand this quote and the book for that matter. In worrying about what may happen you do not live in the moment, which is your actual reality. Worrying as to what if’s is living in a false reality. Living in the now and actioning the now is how one should live, and please note this does not mean you cannot dream, nor plan. Carnegie with his book and specifically quote nails it, and keep re-reading the quote until it sinks in.

I also believe Calvin’s philosophy should be observed - real time keeping it in the moment….

"Rub-a-dub-dub" - What an earth are people up to?

“Rub-a-dub-dub Three men in a tub. And who do you hink they are? The butcher, the baker, the candle stickmaker . Run 'em down. Knaves all three”

Not blogged in a while and thought I would draw upon a very old nursery rhyme that most of us will remember but not necessarily realise its context. I draw upon it as I question the behaviour of people as of late. In a world that seems to be going mad., the rhyme rings true.

Origins and meaning

“The earliest versions of this rhyme published differ significantly in their wording. Dating back to the 14th century, the original rhyme makes reference to maids in a "tub" – a fairground attraction similar to a modern peep show. The rhyme is of a type calling out otherwise respectable people for disrespectable actions, in this case, ogling naked ladies – the maids. The nonsense "Rub-a-dub-dub" develops a phonetic association of social disapprobation, analogous to "tsk-tsk," albeit of a more lascivious variety. The nursery rhyme is a form of teaching such associations in folklore: for individuals raised with such social codes, the phrase "Rub-a-dub-dub" alone could stand in for gossip or innuendo without communicating all of the details.” Wikipedia

Calling out respectable people for disrespectable behaviour is not what I wish to do. For the most part we all posses volition and thus know right from wrong. This leads to me to bemoan the current state of affairs when I look to humanity globally and then again locally at home.

Where are we going as a race when Globally we think in nation states and argue with each other. Take Ukraine for example. What is it about?

Locally, we have a Government in power that seems to represent a certain echelon of society to the detriment of others.

The rhyme reminds us that we must cut though the image that is presented to us, the reality that is not true. At the moment we hear so many points of view in the form of Governments, Politicians and this mentality feeds down to society, and is also delivered via Media.

I suppose we need to stand up to such messaging and denounce it, and create a new narrative - I know this is possible as I work in Media. It then becomes a question of a) choosing to do this, and b) then doing it. We, I suspect, are already seeing this in some of the “anarchy” conservative society refers to. Maybe a new way that society and humanity deserves as people protest.

We cannot expect others to shower us “with meaning and happiness”. We need to join in to break the current narrative and rhetoric of those we disagree with, including organisations (“organisms” maybe) in order to make change. Einstein is rightly quoted that if you keep doing the same thing, and expect different results, then that is insanity. Are we as insane as those we refer to as being insane when we sit back, do nothing, and expect different results?

Maybe we all ought to read Beyond Good and Evil by Nietzsche? Yes, yes, yes, it is heavy going and a tad old, but it is an important text for today’s calamities.

Nietzsche challenges the traditional definition of good and bad as simplistic. It traps us into inaction. Nietzsche shows we are all human and it is how we ultimately express ourselves as output that defines who we are and our behaviour. After all there is good in the worse of us, and bad in the best of us. He challenges traditional morality and the aforementioned view of good/evil and pushes an affirmative approach to what we perceive and thus morality - we have volition. If we do not take affirmative action as an expression of our humanity, the very state of the modern individual is at risk, as is the societies we have built. And remember none of us are perfect.

Footnote:

I had not planned for this Blog entry to be a rant, and certainly don’t think it necessarily has to be interpreted in such a way. I have had a tough time in recent months, and honestly for a while even before these months. I have resurfaced so to speak, but different and learned from all I have tasted and learnt by way of experience. I think this is reflected in this Blog entry. In a way it is a statement of how I feel.


Good Search Marketing from Peter Cobley and searchup

It is November and we have two months left of Q4 and 2023. Thoughts are likely to be turning to Christmas sales, especially if eCommerce driven. What would they have been like in normal circumstances, let alone current trading conditions facing the UK and global economy; what with declining consumer confidence?

Such challenges can be exacerbated for the smaller growing business that does not have in-house resource for targeted Search Marketing, or its Digital Advertising Agency is not delivering a cost effective return on Search Marketing.

search up, the Search Marketing agency that I advise through found us, may be your solution.

  • The agency specialises in Search Marketing for smaller to medium sized businesses who cannot necessarily cover the Search Channel internally, or are not receiving return via their Advertising Agency.

  • searchup already works with, and delivers return for national eCommerce businesses.

  • The agency prides itself on its unique approach to PPC Search Marketing (also including Social Media), and importantly SEO.

  • Its approach is Data driven across Channels, but crucially works with and harnesses Client Sales Data and Management Information to achieve results.

  • I’ve seen many Search Marketing Agencies since my early days of Goto/Overture back in 2002, and decided to work with searchup based on their approach, results, ethics, and how they treat people. I was tired of “typical” Search Agencies. (I consult for searchup via my business - found us.)

  • Working with searchup we have achieved excellent Client results and have a look at searchup Case Studies

  • Don’t hesitate to get in touch for a chat, to find out more, or for advice. We are friendly, happy to help, and won’t just stick an invoice under your nose.

  • I can be contacted on peter@searchup.co.uk or 07876 684899.

    After all it's nearly Christmas and maybe you deserve that Present you’ve always wanted! - Peter Cobley

Ello, We're SearchUp

Well it is time after 8 plus years of being a solo entrepreneur to get involved with a lovely Search Marketing agency called SearchUp. As they say, “Your digital marketing is about to get a serious lift...”

I have known the wonderfully honest and funny Terry McCusker for a number of years and both of us share the same view on life; namely being honest, treat people nicely, do your best, and bring good to the world. Which is also applied to work and business.

So, a while back Terry and I spoke over SearchUp, a lovely little Search Marketing agency he is a director of. And I also met it’s original founder Craig Griffiths, who I have discovered is a Hong Kong Fooey of SEO. Terry and I are commercial, sales, account management etc. etc. etc. Hence our being older than Craig, and potentially more sarcastic. Craig is also a nice honest chap with ethics. This is why I got into business with them and more below on this.

SearchUp I discovered is very good at delivering sales results via Search for its clients, utilising technology and best practice to mirror and drive client metrics, sales and commercial needs. And all with honesty and transparency, and fun. Something that appealed to me bearing in mind how I run my consultancy, found us, and also having spent years in the cut and thrust of working in advertising and not necessarily ascribing to its darker side. Lastly, I originally come from a Search background, in the days of GoTo./Overture, and always enjoyed it.

So, I have decided to work with the guys two days a week as a Director to help them grow and reach more clients, or realistically like minded people in symbiotic or mutually beneficial relationships. Something I’ve always tried to do, i.e. help people you admire, aspire to, or want to plain help.

I’ve liked the fact that there is so much potential within SearchUp business for personal growth, and the growth of other people and their company, whilst everyone making some money in a happy manner.

Search is the core proponent of the business, and behind it all is a skilled utilisation of data and insights, marrying client sales and commercial metrics together with Search to deliver transparent results. SearchUp has rolling monthly contracts and also works to revenue share models, such are the results it delivers to new and long retained clients.

So, get in touch if you require help with your SEARCH marketing or analytics, needing to see a return on ad spend with comprehensive tracking.



A room with a view - some musings.

Yesterday I sat here and heard the cries of fun from the children in the Primary School beneath me, whilst looking at the view over the Moors. And I mused…

Misson Control - Sort of…

Yesterday was a good day as I cycled to and from meetings, whilst also bobbing into Aldi in Stalybridge. A lovely day, and a nice way to see the world at your pace and not speeding by. Which makes me think. What is pace? Or what is the correct pace? Hmmm.

We often talk about getting the balance right in life, which is correct, but I got thinking as to pace. Are we living at the correct pace, and what do I mean by this?

I realise now that pace is important and by pace I mean at what speed are we living life? It has taken me years to realise that pace can be habitual, i.e. get up, breakfast, travel, work, lunch, chores, work, home, leisure/work, bed, etc. etc. etc. We rush into habitual behaviour, like driving a car over 30mph and miss the scenery. We have a myopic view and if slower or paced we would look out of all windows of the car and appreciate what we see, and in slowing down have time to think, observe, and let the mind flow through its stream of consciousness.

Daniel Oliver in 1840 in First Lines of Physiology: Designed for the Use of Students of Medicine, when he wrote

“If we separate from this mingled and moving stream of consciousness, our sensations and volitions, which are constantly giving it a new direction, and suffer it to pursue its own spontaneous course, it will appear, upon examination, that this, instead of being wholly fortuitous and uncertain, is determined by certain fixed laws of thought, which are collectively termed the association of ideas.”

You need to make time for your mind to flow at a slower pace (mental) and for you to set aside time for you to sit in your thoughts, or slow the pace down (physical). In doing so you allow for a stream of consciousness within your mind and via analogous conscious and unconscious reasoning make associations with thoughts, feelings, and emotions. It leads to solutions, emotional stability, and a calmness in the moment. The troubling past sweeps by, and the hypothetical future does not eat up time or cause anxiety.

Also have a read of the following, it is a wonderful book that explains how we humans are creatures of habit, and of their impact on how we live, but do not yet realise.

”Me” time, or time to yourself, to think, to meditate, to be, is what I allude to. And something I have had to learn. Sit in the moment. Doing so allows one to break a habit routine, and to examine what one does in the moment. Now back to habits.

In The Power of Habit, Pulitzer Prize-winning journalist Charles Duhigg researches and explores how habits grow into automatic behaviors that determine personal lives, businesses, and society. Unhealthy habits seem to difficult to break. He gives practical advice to help you understand, change, and develop good habits.

If you understand that you are existing to pre-ordained habits, you can break cycles that you operate in and free yourself to be happy, live in the moment, and achieve dreams. How hard do we find it to seemingly break out of where we are? Have you ever sat at the desk, head in hands, wondering about Groundhog Day, or is this all I have?

Today - Thursday 28th April - an approach

So it is roughly twenty past nine in the morning of Thursday 28th April, and I am finishing off this blog entry from yesterday whilst watching ending of The Power of the Dog which I watched a short while back but not finished.

Benedict Cumerbatch’s character Phil has died and it is the aftermath; atmospheric, severe, thoughtful. It engenders a stream of thought, of consciousness, as I sit here in the lounge, fire on, observing the film, where I am, letting my thoughts wander.

I think life is transient and ever changing, and do we really know what we or others think? All we have is the moment, and like the ending of the film, life is an enigma every second that we live in, as we are enigmas in our own thoughts. And like a babbling brook we should flow and happen. What will be will be, and we do not have to be slaves of habit.

Like the great space of Montana in the film where you can flee to, you can flee from the constraints of habit, or conditioned thinking as dictated by what you think you must think - influenced by upbringing, society. This allows for creativity and bucking the trend so to speak. Of reaching out and taking the moment.

Monday 18th October. Fight, Flight, or Freeze?

Well it is Monday 18th October, and it commences. What commences? Erm, life. And danger. Fight, flight, or freeze?

Danger. (With homage to Bill Watterson)

I think sometimes we can crave for security and avoid risk. Perfectly natural for humans, with quite a bit of their chimp ancestor in them struggling to survive in the jungle of life. And let us face facts, life today can be a bit of a jungle. Is it better to leg it and climb a tree than get into a scrape? And what is a scrape? A roller coaster, to a frightening presentation, to a challenging person or situation. The list is quite endless.

The standard approach of this evolved mammal is fight, flight, freeze. But I think we all know this. Well I hope so. I myself have never been much of a fighter and sit in the flight or freeze categories. Well I used to but have been lucky to have learnt a lot over the last few months which has really helped me to cope with stress, anxiety, or plain daft challenging people, or life situations, oh and the occasional animal.

I am soon to finish off The Chimp Paradox, which I have been meaning to read for a while. But never had the time and was, if honest, a bit loathe thinking it one of “those” books. But in hindsight, with 30 pages to go, it has been an informative read and quite a useful perspective on controlling one’s behaviour. Helping greatly with understanding stress, anxiety, fear, and how to cope with challenges fronted by people, places, and things.

Worth a read.

I have a strong belief when it comes to reading this type of book. I am trying to avoid the term “self-help” as I find that quite a patronising title. Your average human these days can read and write, and mostly find their way home. I think you can take what you need from what you learn and experience, and this also includes reading. We all have volition and can figure things out for the most part, aided by an internal moral compass and a few brain cells.

The premise of the book is to divide the brain into Chimp, Human, and Computer. One is the emotional primate, the other the moral and logical reasoning entity, the last the hardwired element that provides instructions for behaviour in situations.

What I learnt, well reinforced what I already know, in a nice and easy to consume fashion was that we have an emotional element to our brains that can override what makes us human, namely logic and community; being part of a community versus the self. And I can relate to this.

In a stressful situation such as running a head hunting business, living life, being married, owning a Terrier it can be hard and the Chimp in me can take control and the result negative outcomes. Mainly the fight element, or more better put as behaving like an arse with others or in situations. It manifests in selfishness, aggression, territorial dominance, across to hurting people. In real life this is me being nasty, not coping, getting stressed with people, the wife, business associates, the dog. I see myself put me first in a dominant resentful way, eyeballing fellow Chimps who I think are asserting their dominance over me. The Chimp reveals itself before the “human” can interject and assess the situation using pre-ordained and programmed logic from the “Computer” or memory, as developed by thinking and learning.

For example let us say I am dealing with a demanding candidate over a senior head hunting brief when running found us, my head hunting and consultancy business. The candidate is pestering me and not following process and interfering with my time and control of the brief. The Chimp in me becomes resentful, angry, frustrated, and this can lead to taking a chunk out of the candidate’s Chimp or worse. This does not endear itself to interpersonal relations which is key to head hunting. And it does not bode well for life in general. Do we all know two Chimps having a verbal scrap between man and wife? How we have felt afterward and the outcome? And regrets that we did not handle it better (the Human utilising the stored Computer information)?

So, how does one feed the Chimp bananas?

Really easily if you read the book, and it all makes sense. It is about keeping your internal Chimp calm and thus outsider’s Chimps calm.

The trick is to press “pause” on the Chimp behaviour thus giving enough time for the Human to take control of the brain processing of what to do next in a stressful, anxious, or challenging situation. The Human in the aforementioned example can say to themselves “pause” and “change”. Prof Peters recommends this, and guess what? It works. Two simple words. One to pause the Chimp and remind you of it and possible poor consequences. The second word to remind you that you can change how you handle this situation. A situation you undoubtable have witnessed before - someone trying to control you.

The Human can take charge and use logic to firstly understand the situation and secondly decide on a plan of action. You could for example arrange a call or Zoom with the candidate to explain the process involved for the brief and that you are acting diligently on their behalf, so calming their probably demanding Chimp. You can use prior learning from the Computer to handle the situation, knowing that getting Chimp angry will only anger their Chimp and it will more than likely go “Pete Tongue”.

Another method similar to the above is to use the 3 R’s.

Retreat - detach from the situation, take a breath, count to ten, walk around the block.

Re-Think - have a think about the situation, and don’t just observe you initial thought or behaviour. For example in the above, I might be initially inclined to view the candidate as an asshole or get angry. Letting the Human think assuages the first thought, with the second thought process asking and drawing on Computer experience; what is the best approach? And what is likely to happen if I get angry?

Respond - note the word, and not react. This is about taking calm logical morally driven action and behaviour. In my example I have explained the situation and importantly my position to the candidate. After all this is about my well being.

Have a read of the book to AVOID CHIMP CHAOS. Which we are all capable of.

Don’t be a Chimp (in public)

(With homage to Bill Watterson)

Happiness. Sunday 19th September 2021.

Not posted in a while. Variety of reasons. Today is about happiness. Today is about giggles, mischief, and fun. As personified by Roobarb and Custard. It is about being a child again, and these two characters featured in my childhood. Today is also about letting go of resentments. Because Roobarb and Custard always make up.

Well it is Sunday 19th September and I am happy, yes I am happy. And that is a good, good; well in fact a jolly good feeling after what has been a while and a number of tribulations. I hope my happiness rubs off on people, and I’ll muse below if you fancy a read. I will structure this all around animated cartoons from the years of growing up with particular HOMAGE paid to Cosgrove Hall Films.

You see cartoons can bring the child out of us, remind us of that simplicity and innocence that we hark back to, have lost, but can rediscover. It is about hanging about with pals and adventures.

It is time to go back in a time warp to easier times, when life has been hard with Brexit, Covid.

Roobard and Custard - Anarchy and Living in the Moment

These two hooligans for me sum up what being alive is all about. Anarchy and living in the Moment. So simple, yet so crucial. We should reach into the past as a reminder, but we ought not to live in the past for that is an artifice. Roobard and Custard are cartoon animals, and like animals they live in the here and now. We, mankind, can be foolish in our pursuit and analysis of what has passed and what may yet be. Through reading and meditation we can learn those skills of being in the moment. Being at peace within our story, our timeline.

Dangermouse - Friendship

When I look to Dangermouse and his endearing relationship with Penfold I smile. Through thick and thin we hear the cry of “Crumbs DM!” A now favourite phrase of mine instead of being a potty mouth and swearing.

Be rich in those friends you have, and above all cherish them for you have swift company, sound advice, and love. Do not forsake this or them.

Make friends and choose carefully. I though I’d chosen carefully, but clearly I did not. Do read further, and like myself find your peace in being proud of who you are. Dangermouse is Dangermouse, Penfold is Penfold, You are You.

Chorlton and the Wheelies - Don’t be put down or Judged

Chorlton the Dragon is the epitome of happiness. Simple, cheerful, and brings pleasure to the Wheelies. The is how I seek to be. A happy dragon who does not let the miserable and wicked Fenella the Kettle Witch get on top of him. To the un-initiated Fenella does not like people being happy.

To me, Fenella represents those individuals who fail to see the good, the happiness in life. They have lost direction. After all “… there is a bit of good in the worst of us and a bit of bad in the best of us…” Don’t let the Fenella’s of this world grind you down, or lead you to their way of living. Sadly such people will “crap” on you to make themselves feel better. In fact to justify what they do and how they behave.

Realise, Like Chorlton the happy Dragon, that you cannot control people, places, and things. Especially people. You focus on “keeping your side of the street clean”. Chorlton is oblivious to Fenella and happy. You concentrate on your “s**t” and let such people “keep their side of the street clean”. In doing so you obtain a freedom that is unbridled. (Have a read of The Art of Happiness by the Dalai Lama.)

When I had a meltdown in July and August of “quality” proportions it was somewhat interesting in retrospection to see who rallied around me. Yes, I was at fault and yes erratic to put it mildly, but I have seen both the humanity and the inhumanity. What opened my eyes to crisis, personal meltdown, and self-questioning were those who were not there for me. But over time I realise that harbouring resentments only bites you in the bum. A resentment is simply a fear. But a fear of what? Of not being liked, of being alone in my case.

But I reverse engineered my thinking and understood that you only have control over yourself and not others. So focus on you, since you will not change these people and how they act. And to harbour resentments ties you to the past, when we in fact live in the moment. Face your fears (resentments) and realise you are rich in this life.

I was lost but found by real people. True friends.

Jamie and the magic Torch - Always Dream

Can you remember Jamie and his dog Wordsworth? Ever night was a dream. As adults were stifle our inner child, our happiness, because we are sucked into the system we live in. I suggest you head off for a walk and pretend to be a child exploring, looking for adventure, mischief maybe. Go somewhere different, where you have not been, go alone. Re-connect with that sense of adventure and forget the present and its challenges. In re-connecting you feel that inner happiness you once felt as a carefree child. It creates a sense of peace, of happiness, of seeing the colours in the trees, the smell of the air.

Day dream of what could be, but don’t sit in melancholy. This will inspire you and potentially break a cycle you feel trapped in. How many of us have become subservient to a system and people that teaches us “it’s way of life”? You can but choose your own life if you dream and remember what you wanted as a child.

It is never too late. I’ve learnt that.

Mr Ben - We all “wear” Personas

“All the world’s a stage,

And all the men and women merely players;

They have their exits and their entrances;

And one man in his time plays many parts,”

Shakespeare - As You Like It, Act 2, Scene 7

Are we like Mr Benn?

We are ourselves when with ourselves. Only we are the true person when alone. In life we become players wearing a persona and it is healthy to be aware of this. It is not wrong, it is what we do. But be aware that you may be wearing a mask, and may not need to. Be true to yourself, read below. Note the part I have placed in BOLD.

Yet here, Laertes? Aboard, aboard, for shame!
The wind sits in the shoulder of your sail,
And you are stay'd for. There- my blessing with thee!
And these few precepts in thy memory
Look thou character. Give thy thoughts no tongue,545
Nor any unproportion'd thought his act.
Be thou familiar, but by no means vulgar:
Those friends thou hast, and their adoption tried,
Grapple them unto thy soul with hoops of steel;
But do not dull thy palm with entertainment
Of each new-hatch'd, unfledg'd comrade. Beware
Of entrance to a quarrel; but being in,
Bear't that th' opposed may beware of thee.
Give every man thine ear, but few thy voice;
Take each man's censure, but reserve thy judgment.
Costly thy habit as thy purse can buy,
But not express'd in fancy; rich, not gaudy;
For the apparel oft proclaims the man,
And they in France of the best rank and station
Are most select and generous, chief in that.
Neither a borrower nor a lender be;
For loan oft loses both itself and friend,
And borrowing dulls the edge of husbandry.
This above all- to thine own self be true,
And it must follow, as the night the day,
Thou canst not then be false to any man.

Farewell. My blessing season this in thee!”

Polonius to Laertes, Hamlet Act 1, Scene 3.

Sometimes we have to wear a mask, for example to accommodate people, e.g. when talking to a young child. But as an adult be true to yourself and speak your mind. If someone is p*****g you off, tell them. Do not stew in this because this does not lead to happiness. Make your happiness. Choose your happiness. So as you choose your mind set your behaviour will follow, as the happy sun follows the lonely darkness. I say darkness because in not being who we are we can lose ourselves in the dark.

Suggested Reading/Bibliography

  • The Art of Happiness by the Dalai Lama.

  • The Power of Now by Eckhart Tolle.

  • Irresistible: Why you are addicted to technology and how to set yourself free by Adam Atler.

  • The Chimp Paradox by Prof Steve Peters.

  • The Ocean at The End of The Lane by Neil Gaiman.

  • Zen and the Art of Motorcycle Maintenance by Robert M. Pirsig.

  • What I talk about when I talk about Running by Haruki Murakami.

The joys of fell running, Kerridge Ridge, and Haruki Murakami

As I sit here after a good day, typing this blog, I reminisce to the days of late running the Saddle of Kerridge, to and from White Nancy and Kerridge Hill, and from there to further pastures. And what fun it has been.

Looking backwards to Kerridge Hill Trig, and village of Rainow in the Peak District.

I am currently spending some time with mother (“Muver”) at her establishment in Macclesfield. Try as I may I am not capable at 49 years of age of resisting being mothered, smothered, loved, told off, given advice, and needing to report in regularly. It is actually quite nice, and I’m having quality time with her. I am also quite thankful of my remembering to leave the toilet seat down.

Whilst here I am working found us, ticking the business along as the good ship navigates the choppy waters of Covid. But I have some time on my hands as industry begins to crank itself up. So what do I do?

Well I go fell running in the hills of my youth, where I grew up, and now realise have longed to return to. The isolation of solo running I’ve enjoyed. Myself and my thoughts, a drifting stream of consciousness that has allowed me to sort thoughts, worries, hopes and aspirations as I tread gingerly through the ever changing terrain. Wonderful.

White Nancy looking towards Bollington and Manchester city centre, wearing Merrell Nova Trail shoes.

I’ve really enjoyed myself and started around the 6 mile mark, and have now increased the distance to 12 miles with around 2k of climb as I take in the very much hidden Lamaload Reservoir that sits near to the Goyt Valley.

Lamaload Reservoir.

My latest run today was in wonderful weather and conditions; overall cool, with the sun breaking through the cloud cover at times. I was able to wear the sunglasses and simply enjoyed the freedom of being alone, getting fitter as I have put weight on, and have also not been running regularly.

STRAVA: https://www.strava.com/activities/5229383216

Haruki Murakami

All of this has made me think of a wonderful and book that I read a while ago. It is written by a Japanese author and whilst he is a crime writer, he loves running, and wrote “What I Talk About When I Talk About Running”. It is a wonderful book for anyone who solo runs and has a mind that is active. Have a read of it, it is well written, fascinating, and a perfect insight into the mind of the runner. It is clear we do not simply switch off when running, it enhances both the conscious and subconscious as we cover those miles.

Everyone needs a Mum (even at 49 and 6 months.)

Over in Macclesfield at the moment with “Muver”. This morning I was sat down and my hair cut, with help from Nicky Clake. Instructions issued, obeyed. I felt like I was a child again. It was nice.

IMG_0439.jpeg

Life and reality are always in flux, such is the nature of the universe. Ever changing, ever morphing, becoming something that is (the present), and was (the past), and may be (the future). Time is always moving.

But one thing that fascinates me about life and Time despite all this, is how it repeats itself, is circular, and re-visits the past (though obviously not the same past, as that is impossible.)

And I had that experience today. And a reminder.

I needed a haircut, Mum has clippers. I could not be bothered walking to a local hairdresser and all the hassle that entails in the current climate. So… I was instructed to a) get a chair, b) get the Nicky Clarke clippers, plug them in c) sit down, d) do as told, e) no shirt and tie required, f) oh, and check the Dyson is charged.

Off she went on her Motherly mission whilst issuing instructions. These were not to be negotiated.

Time Travel

In one moment all of 49.5 years of life dissipated instantaneously. And I travelled back in time in my head and body to being a child. It was as though I was released from the worldly worries of being an adult. I felt safe, calm, happy, and enjoyed the haircut. I’d forgotten what it was like to have yourself placed in the complete control and hands of someone else. It was an actual relief.

(And my hair looks funky. I even used some No7 putty. Sexy beast.)

Some musings

Whilst feeling more comfortable, I mused and learnt a few new things. (Or re-remembered stuff.)

  • Everyone needs a MUM.

  • It is funny just how much responsibility and worry we take on as adults in the Western World. Which leads to angst, and constantly chasing our tails. No stopping to simply look at the birds in the air, the leaves on the trees.

  • But in one moment, that burden was released by my placing myself in the care of another, which got me thinking.

  • Maybe we need to engage more with those parents we still have, and be taken back and reminded of what it was to be a child, and placed in the care of another. It is fulfilling as a human being, and a reconnection with life.

  • Maybe we need to take time out in a quiet place to “send” ourselves back, or to be a child again to relive the adult burden, and contextualise our current life.

  • That is not to say you can take yourself out of your own personal reality as that is living in a illusion. But is can place things in perspective and maybe lead you to conclude that things are not that bothersome.

  • Maybe we can learn to “hand over” to another. A loved one, a friend, a colleague, reminding ourselves of what it was to be a child. To have someone look after us and relieve the burden of modern life. After all none of us I suspect are that strong. A singular tree can be torn down by an inclement wind, but a tree in a forest has a better chance.

Guess the ages?

Guess the ages?

Why I like Fell Running, and a long overdue visit to Teggs Nose.

When times are tough, the mind racing, low moods embrace you, running a business makes your head hurt, donning the fell shoes, even when not in the mood takes me outside, and outside of myself. And this happened today with a visit to Teggs Nose.

Photo taken from Teggs Nose car park looking toward Macclesfield Forest.

Photo taken from Teggs Nose car park looking toward Macclesfield Forest.

I’d been up early, probably on the computer from 7.30am, and by lunchtime needed a run as my head was spinning for business and personal reasons. My mood was also low, but after speaking to a couple of friends perked up a bit.

Attired I set off, with no particular plan apart from running to the Trig at Kerridge Hill at a gentle pace, followed by some sun bathing whilst looking toward the village of Rainow.

I ran to the summit, sunbathed and relaxed letting the proverbial brain box wander, and avoided picking up the iPhone. All of this with beautiful views over the Cheshire Plain and down toward Rainow.

The mood grabbed me and I decided to head for the Teggs Nose Country Park and off I went on the undulating ascent via Rainow. Hot in places, but a nice cool breeze in places. I eventually hit Teggs Nose with the plan to get a soft drink from the cafe. That was not happening - closed. Thanks Covid.

Chilled out on a bench and took a photo toward Macclesfield Forest, and also took a business phone call from a lovely old business contact. Then proceeded to make my way back. A lovely descent with amazing views of the Cheshire Plain and Manchester.

View toward Manchester from a hill not far from Teggs Nose on the return route.

View toward Manchester from a hill not far from Teggs Nose on the return route.

It was a bit of a rocky climb up to Kerridge Hill, so I took a rest and again admired the views at the Summit. Tried to call a friend, gave up due to reception, despite a mobile mast about 300 metres away down the hill from me - how does that work? Then back along the ridge (Saddle of Kerridge) to White Nancy, with views into Bollington. And from there back to Macclesfield.

Why do I like Fell Running?

Well today it got me out physically in lovely weather in an area of beauty where I was lucky to grow up in (Macclesfield). But more importantly was the break and release from troubling mental pressures, a sense of resignation, coupled with low mood, uncertainty, worry, and sadness.

What fell running seems to do is take you out of that moment as you concentrate on where you are putting your feet, whilst taking in scenery. On the flat or downhills, and for that matter steep climbs my mind wanders as I concentrate on feet, terrain, breathing; and my mind seems to organise thoughts, put thoughts to bed, create thoughts. And it is the same for emotions. It is very therapeutic when having a bad day. I’d like to say shite day up until the run, but that is rude.

I’d suggest Fell Running for those who fancy getting up in the hills and off the Tarmac, but must confess it is not for everyone. Running up hills in this heat can also be rude.

Graham Greene’s “Travels with my Aunt”

I very rarely listen to anything when Fell Running as I prefer to hear the natural sounds. But today, being low, fancied some company. I’ve been listening to this book on Audible and continued listening when running. Highly recommended is all I can say.

Do you really want to be a "Personality"?

Mulling over media and it’s creation of personalities, or people who try to create a personality.

I do understand the fact that in any business promotion of the business, and your role is important for raising awareness amongst the industry community you work in, including clients. However I personally try and draw a line at self promotion to the detriment of the business that employs you (conflict of interest) and to the detriment of you the person, and your integrity.

For example I have begun to notice that LinkedIn is getting hammered with self promotion and it does concern me that older, more experienced individuals are setting the example or the height of the bar for the younger ones coming into the business. Do we want an advertising industry staffed by vacuous persons, only interested in self? I also do wonder if people read such posts, or to be frank can be bothered, have time; or if reading a post wonder if they obtained something of benefit, depending on what you define as benefit.

Is this a mid life crisis I ask? Is self promotion taking away from growing and teaching the new talent coming into the business, something I bemoan. Or maybe I am a 49 year old dinosaur? But that is how I was brought up at the start of my career when I started off in August 1994 in London in national press. And it is also what I have learnt out of the business through thankfully having bosses who acted as mentors and taught me that if you grow people, they grow you, the business. If you give, you get back. I discovered helping people in their career (and not view them as a threat) gives pleasure and where respect occurs it ultimately aids you if in a senior role with loyal and hard working staff.

“Our awesome responsibility to ourselves, to our children, and to the future is to create ourselves in the image of goodness, because the future depends on the nobility of our imaginings.” Barbara Grizzuti Harrison

It is not about going toe to toe with a youngster, it is about growing people, and thus you grow yourself and lead by example, and word will be spread in a humble and honest way by others about you. Awareness not by your words, your interpretation of yourself. You become unique, not another wrapped in self promotion on LinkedIn and other forms of social media. Do you really want to appear full of narcissism, full of self importance, full of your own belief and opinion instead of helping others? Instead of letting your peers judge you, which can and is a brave thing to do?

I am not against shouting out about yourself to your fellows in this industry, especially when seeking to make people aware of services, skills you offer, or you have something interesting to say. After all we work in advertising.

In finishing, do I watch the many videos I see on LinkedIn? No.



A post as we approach Christmas

Whilst “things” are settling into a semblance of “normality”, it is still turbulent waters we find ourselves in. I thought I’d waffle as to my thoughts on this. It may help people find still and calm waters.

Wessenden Reservoir - Sunday 6th December 2020

Last year saw Brexit causing angst, this year a truculent US election, Covid 19, with Brexit rearing it’s ugly head; and we have Christmas coming up which can be a stressful time. I (and Claire my wife) decided to furlough myself in April until it became sensible and viable to work fully. Running a head hunting and consultancy business in the circumstances would have involved banging one’s head against a brick wall. Taking time off is what I did, and it may help people assess their own actions, or for that matter what they do next. But everyone’s journey is their own.

I used the time off to learn about myself, read and learn, and also spent time in the campervan with Claire on a trip around Scotland. The point being my business was still there, financially we were okay, ticking things over. I lived in the moment, not casting my eyes back or forward (this did not mean I cannot plan) and constantly asked myself, “what is the worse that can happen?” and “do I have problem now, not back then, or what may happen?” You cannot change what has happened, nor can you change what will come to pass. But you can enjoy the now. And that’s what I did.

One thing that I learnt was by how much I could reduce business and personal expenditure. Whilst also not panicking. Sometimes you just go with the flow. It always surprises me just how little you can live on.

  • Examine your personal and business expenses. Ask yourself, do I really need to pay for this? Is it a necessity or a luxury?

  • Don’t be afraid to cancel commitments like serviced offices across to subscriptions. You can always reinstate them.

  • Start to put money aside, even if minimal. It creates reassurance and gives you a buffer.

Accept that all of us are playing a “time” game. So, ask yourself the following:

  • Does my business work?

  • Does this job work? Am I happy, working well in this role?

  • Is my personal life a happy one considering the above?

If the answers to the questions posed sit in the positive then you have the ingredients for success, and can accept that you have to sit it out, and use your time constructively.

If the answers are negative, then maybe current events are nature’s way of bringing to a close one chapter of your life, or nudging you into making a change. Have a think about it? Believe it or not in times of flux, opportunities outside of your comfort zone can and do manifest themselves.

Waterfall and weir at Wessenden Moor - Sunday 6th December 2020

What is the worse that can happen?

Yes, yes I know, it is a cliched phrase. But it holds validity. When all about you is a maelstrom, just stop and ask yourself the question. Because when you do so, you reduce the anxiety and the catastrophising to neutral. And you also realise that there is always a solution, or acceptance of the situation. And this does not prevent you from holding a sense of calmness or equanimity about you, or living in the present. Take each hour, each day as they come.

Some useful reading

  • The Power of Now by Eckhart Tolle. Now I don’t agree with all in the book, but for the most part this book teaches you how to live and enjoy the now, not being shackled by the past nor the future. It creates self awareness of one’s own focus in life.

  • The Power of Habit by Charles Duhigg. A fascinating book that shows how we all work to routine and habit, and of how an understanding of this allows us to harness behaviours to achieve goals/plans, and personal fulfilment.

  • Why we Sleep by Matthew Walker. An absolutely fascinating book looking into sleep. Why would you want to read this? All I can say is it gives a valuable insight into the importance of sleep, how the mind works, and of how your looking after sleep and the mind reflects on your life.

Brun Clough Reservoir looking toward Diggle - Sunday 6th December 2020

So where do I find myself?

In all honesty, the time off suited me for a variety of reasons. And I never personally created the business to chase money, being more a question of enjoying life and helping others.

I now see myself ramping up the business in a sensible, soft, and considerate way. Being cognisant of the turmoil and hardship people are feeling and suffering.

I have sat it out and been patient and am still patient now. Things will improve and we will see changes. But out of adversity comes opportunity for change, and maybe you need a change?