Today I type from a delayed Scotrail train to Oban. A three hour trip through beautiful scenery. With me are Josie and Ronnie, my parents in law as I chaperone them to Oban and then onto Craignure on the Isle of Mull via Calmac ferry the Isle of Mull. At platform 4 Queen Street, Glasgow the Scotrail people could not connect the two trains together that form the service and we are now over 20 minutes late, with a potential arrival time of 3.54pm into Oban and the ferry 3.55pm. Sat at the very front of the train I can hear it labour as it chases time itself.
I travelled up yesterday from Dukinfield using the very excellent National Express service for Glasgow that calls into Hamilton. Long gone are the lyrical days of the using a service where you could both hide from, and see life.
Take the National Express when your life's in a mess
It'll make you smile
All human life is here
From the feeble old dear to the screaming child
From the student who knows that to have one of those
Would be suicide
To the family man
Manhandling the pram with paternal pride
And everybody sings, "Ba-ba-ba-da"
We're going where the air is free
National Express by the Divine Comedy - Verse 1 - Released 25th January 1999
My life was a mess but is no longer a mess, and I was happy to see both Josie and Ronnie, catch up on sleep in their comfortable house, with today being our journey from Queen Street via train to Oban, Josie deciding and preferring a taxi with a cheerfully pleasant driver. making the station with time to drink lovely coffee (Danish pastry and tart for me) in kaffateria opposite the station. And highly recommended for its coffee.
All fine and we mosied over to the estimated platform 4, which was where I departed from last time I was off to Mull. Now last time there was a problem, and as fate would have it the same problem occurred again. The difference being I was armed with two Scottish pensioners. Very simply the train is made of two parts. And at Crianlarich it splits into a Oban train and a Mallaig train, with the Oban section being the front of the train, normally four carriages, out of Queen Street. Last time they could not connect the train and everyone piled onto the Mallaig train after watching the Oban section sneak out of Queen Street having failed to couple to its mate. Same again, and we watched as our train, our seat reservations, fuck off into the dark tunnel. Sharp walk to other train, looking through windows for those unreserved table seats.
Now I must admit it was better than last time, which was Saturday, hot weather, and a platform knee deep in people, tourists, cyclists. Back then I’d managed to bag a seat opposite a dog named Snoop.
This time though a new train shot in to Queens Street and connected up with the Mallaig section to give a big train, midweek when less busy, and despite no original reservations we did bag a table and seats at the very front of the train. Mind you I did position myself right at the front of the train by the passenger door. Seat table sorted, bags stowed I wandered down the carriages checking on some unfortunate elderly ladies who were on a three week painting holiday taking in the Inner and Outer Hebrides, and like us armed with bags had been caught short on the platform; where we had spoken earlier. All three were good and I returned to the seat to type this post, eat some M&S crisps from a meal deal, and relax at the view, as were Ronnie and Josie.
Shame there is no Trolly Dolly as I could murder a coffee, but laugh inside at some more Divine Comedy lyrics that I remember from the old days of the National Express.
On the National Express there's a jolly hostess
Selling crisps and tea
She'll provide you with drinks and theatrical winks
For a sky-high fee
Mini-skirts were in style when she danced down the aisle
Back in '63 (yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah)
But it's hard to get by when your arse is the size
Of a small country
And everybody sings, "Ba-ba-ba-da"
We're going where the air is free
Tomorrow belongs to me
Verse 2.
Addendum:
As I proof read this I see the Trolly Dolly heading our way. Life is good.
